The reason why: if people could speak from beyond
I never got the chance to bid you and the boy’s farewell. This final journey I had to undertake without notice and on my own. It is sad. I look back at the life I have lived and I realise I failed to reach the mark. My priorities were wrong and I did not love the people who loved me. I was after fame and fortune and that took my time. I thought having material gains was the ultimate gain to life but that caused my downfall. It really is hot down here. It is the other side that definitely is not green. Hell fire is real. We pay for our deeds. My soul knows no peace.
Every day I am in this new place it is reflection on a daily basis and I just wish God would have given me another chance to come back and hold you and make right all the wrongs. Time is precious and it is the one thing we can never buy back. I am sorry for all the misery I caused you. You are such an amazing mother and a beautiful woman and you deserve happiness, in fact you deserve the crowns and jewels I could never give you. You deserve all the pearls and rubies in the world too.
You know when I walked the earth I never set foot in the church since I left my mother’s house. I forgot all the commands and teachings, I failed to know and remember who had blessed me first. I realise now my prosperity did not come through my own know how, but God was blessing me in order to bless others and I abused the privilege and He is the one who gives and takes. Whatever I did behind closed doors is an open book with him. I am glad though that even in my sinful ways he did not expose me so publicly. God really does have compassion for even those who do not love him.
My dear, let us not meet in this place I am, but I wish you a better place. Hold the statutes of God and let not his word depart from your heart. In all seasons, let it be your guide, never be moved away from God. He will be your strength in weakness, he will carry you when the journey gets rough, he will count each drop of tear you have shed and replace each one of them with diamonds. He is such a man that all he desires is for you to walk with him. He desires so much for his people to walk with him that he will jump into the midst of the fire just to walk with you. Take for example when Shadrech, Misheck and Abednico were thrown into the fire, Nebuchadnezzar exclaimed that “did we not throw three men into the fire; there are four men and the fourth man looks like the son of God?” Take even Pharaoh he tried chasing the children of Israel who were walking on foot with chariots, and could not overtake them. Kadija I plead with you, just walk with God every day.
Life is not going to be easy but it will be worth it. All things work at love together for good for those that love the Lord. He will bless you abundantly and exceedingly above expectation. Walk with him everyday even when you are baptising your dishes in the morning or in the shower. Dedicate each day to His might and he will reveal to you the secrets and mysteries that are hidden. He will show you the ways to take and move people out of power and place just to bless you. He will give you wisdom. He will infuse you with his own blood and intelligence, might and strength. People will see you and know that God lives in her house and we cannot mess with her.
These are my words to you. I don’t want you to fail where you can succeed.