Before I proceed let me say I will continue to call you my husband because when I took my vows I meant every word that came from my mouth. When I said for better or worse I made a promise to God. Our good times were the better and now is the worst not worse which was what the priest had me say. I think they really ought to revise the vows and put worst in there.
I may have grown grey hair and have countless wrinkles now but I wonder if you look in the mirror before you leave this house or the other house. You also have grey hair now and plenty of it I must say and the wrinkles too; I could hide a needle in their folds and probably never find it again. In actual fact they look like a bale of hay in a barn. Funny though I have always thought these were sentimental changes. Maybe you could try Botox and colouring your hair to look twenty years younger.
My chest may have gone flat now but you wanted the children breast fed and of course with three big hungry cherubs God blessed me with my chest is drained. The firmness left my bosom to give them strength, life and good health.
If you had been helping me out with the night feeds I would have less wrinkles. I have sleepless nights worrying about the children. I did the 3am feeds by myself whilst you said you were tired to help out. Never once my husband did I complain. So yes the wrinkles are there because of stress from you and the world.
My life has been full of abuse from a tender age and I am tired. Sometimes when you are sleeping I just want to get a pillow and smother you. Even in your sleep you torment me. Funny though you say I am no longer beautiful but every time you come home you exercise your rights over me violently and I don’t enjoy it. So when night time comes I am scared of the flashbacks of my past.
Today I went and bought a bible and I did something I have never done before. I knelt down and wept, reached out to the Lord. I am not sure I said the right words because the emotions were too much for me, but I know I said some kind of prayer. After that I blessed the children too. They might be young boys now but one day they will be someone else’s husband and guardian. I prayed this violence they see from you as they grow will not follow them into their adulthood. Children learn from their parents and I know they have seen you hit me and they have seen me cry.
Knowing this then my husband and looking at your behaviour, I ask that before I leave your house with only the clothes on my back, may you please tell me what happened in your life journey that makes you so bitter and a monster to someone who loves you.
If you reply me tomorrow I will have peace because I know something along the way took pieces of your soul, if not all your soul.
From your wife
P/s I made you your favourite meal I know it’s not a French cuisine but you loved oatmeal bread when I first met you.